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27 September 2009


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Maybe it had something to do with seeing the dog. I don't know...Ben used to attempt to communicate things but his words were seemingly so indirect...language being a second language and all.

You are carefully listening. You'll give his words power that way!


TH has a huge lag in these things, and I've always imagined that in his mind, he's just rolling things over, processing, examining, distilling. Then, usually after the boys have gone to bed, he'll come to me and we'll talk about it. I'm guessing Charlie's way of letting it out is different, but we definitely have an enormous lag time.

What would it mean, do you think, if this isn't a lag, but if this is just IT?

karen d

You and Jim know Charlie so well -- all behavior is communication. I hope he's peaceful easy feeling today. xo

Linda Sullivan

Glad Charlie's OK. You guys are great parents. Linda


Yes, glad that both the boys are ok.


Glad your guys are both ok; hoping today's peaceful and easy feeling for you all.

I've noticed lately that when Nik is feeling *physically* unwell he tends to revert to what I would call "comfort" toys and items which he has long outgrown. Perhaps Charlie was feeling rattled and physically shaken from the accident and was simply seeking comfort in the only way he knew to communicate it?


Omigosh. Glad that both of the fellas aren't hurt!

I have fingers crossed that today will also proceed (relatively) smoothly.

Warm regards!

Dwight F

Nice, Kristina. I'm guessing, and certainly not a professional opinion here, you just helped him take an incremental step forward in his stress handling skills. Drawing on happy recollections of comfort toys without the actual toys present. A solid emotional self control strategy.

Club 166

Hello, Kristina.

Have been reading all the posts, but haven't had time to respond.

Sounds like Charlie did a pretty good job of dealing with the crash. Glad they're both OK.

Hope your rainy day was still good.


Kristina Chew

Thank you, they're both ok, some scrapes and bruises---went out on the bikes again today once the rain cleared up.

@Rose, "language as a second language"---thanks for this, it's giving me a good way to think about Charlie and his communication.

@Emily, I am thinking it is just IT indeed. Jim experiences the same as regard to processing events and emotions. Those nighttime conversations with Th you've written about point me to a lot.....

@Niksmom & Dwight F, Charlie has long said "Gong Gong Po Po" and "Barney" when he's rattled, also to comfort himself. (Got the missing incident reports in the mail today---sigh, they wrote that he'd said some of things after those "protective" (yeah, for whom) "holds." I think one (stricter) (often ABA) mindset is to "ignore" such "non-contextual" utterances. But we know Charlie is just doing what the teachers keep telling him to do, "using his words": he's trying to express what he feels.

My new strategy has been to go right ahead and talk about those things, especially when he's not yet really upset but getting anxious. He's trying to communicate and needs validation that his efforts count.

We no longer have Barney (the stuffed toy) or another toy, Farm Families, that Charlie often mentions. Somehow, talking about these does seem to help him---if I keep it going in a certain way, he often starts smiling and I can almost see a cloud pass away from his face.


Yikes! Stopping suddenly can bring disastrous results when you're riding with someone else.
My husband is in several bicycle clubs, including one that sponsors long, long rides of hundreds of miles lasting several days and one of the basic rules of the road is never to ride too close behind another rider and if you need to stop, you first yell "Stopping!"
Can Charlie be taught to holler "Stopping!" if he needs to contemplate something of stop again for any reason?
Bike crashes are no joke; they can result in very serious injuries.
Another thing that the bike clubs suggest is taking some small dog biscuits along in case a dog runs up and starts barking at/chasing a rider. Scattering the biscuits distracts the dog so the cyclist can make a quick getaway.

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by Kristina Chew …………………………

Kristina Chew

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