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24 May 2010


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So great about the school and his teachers (also great that you got to see Charlie in class!).

You are so right about the way in which often the media, and books (and some blogs), often only offer such a thin slice of life. It's hard to fit everything in to a few sentences, and all to easy to give an unbalanced view of life.

It's very heartwarming that Charlie's teachers see Charlie, and not just the "behavior" or "incident reports".


John Lennon's "Beautiful Boy" is running through my head after reading this. That describes your Charlie, for sure!

I am so incredibly relieved for all of you that you found this school for Charlie. It seems to have created space for such blossoming.


I only met Charlie briefly but I also thought he was lovely. It's so nice when our kids are in a place where they're welcomed and loved, this school sounds like the right place for him.


Charlie is a sweetheart and a lovely boy because you've always treated him as such. You've always believed that he is a lovely boy, and you've never given him any other message but that - that he is a lovely boy, and that you love him and want the best for him.

You've also - pretty successfully - kept the strains of being such a time team of three fairly distant from him. Though there must be problems in every relationship. especially one as demanding as yours, you have given him a solid stable platform of family. He knows that he has a safe space in which he is even permitted to throw all the Tupperware on the floor when he gets angry about not finding what he wants in the kitchen, (He also knows he has to put all that Tupperware back.)

I'm sure he'll both enjoy riding the bus. It will also give him another success on which to build yet again.

Continued strength and love to you all.

Kristina Chew

I used to wonder about 'nurture vs. nature' sort of theories about child-rearing but the former plays a definite role----I didn't do quite so much, um, Tupperware throwing in my youth, but my parents raised my sister and me in a household of unconditional love, and I've seen that as something that's part of my (extended California) family as a whole.

We do still have a file of 'incident reports' but these are seen as things that happen for reasons, and the teachers always emphasize that Charlie gets over these things quickly.

His is a school for children with 'behaviors' (so to speak.....) and (I don't want to say much about the other children for privacy reasons) there was some 'behavioring' going on while I visited. I would think it has an effect on Charlie, just as things he does do on the other children-----the staff all kept a quiet, 'non-crisis' air about them through anything that happened and, to me, that was very important in defusing things and keeping the other kids calm.

An 'air' I'm definitely trying to imitate...

'Beautiful Boy,' ah yes!

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by Kristina Chew …………………………

Kristina Chew

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