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18 September 2010


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I have bought nine identical remote controls. And four Leapsters, before we gave up on them. Two Nintendos DS.

The best (worst?) one at our house was having to buy a new television because a certain someone stood on top and peed on it, resulting in a loud POP!, a cry of pain, and a howl of loss.

BTW, I'm watching the HBO/BBC production of Rome on DVD and really enjoying it. I already had a thing for Julius Caesar and this is just making it worse. I know nothing of the historical accuracy but it seems like the sort of thing a classicist would either love or hate. Have you seen it?


Ah, the joys of printing and laminating! Actually it gives me that "doing something" feeling so I quite enjoy it:)

Our iPod - so far - has been remarkably resilient, it has met with floor more times than I can remember (marble - not carpeted), and quite a few times as a projectile rather than accidental drop. I'm very wary of the bathroom!

I think Dimitri is starting to get the throw=break=no device. Sometimes he(I imagine) forgets in intense moments, other times I can almost see an inner struggle of self control going on (arm positioned ready to launch object). Although, other times I think there may be an element of "dare me, go on!" twinkling in his eye.

I think you are going with a sensible approach to the iPad, introducing it slowly, at Charlies pace. It's very tempting with such a device to try everything all at once and adding every app that you can find, which is just confusing.


two tv's (the first one he broke at 18 months!!), at least 10 lamps, one computer (I'm not counting the one that had to be rebuilt but is under the "throw it out a window and we'll fix it" warranty), two printers, one cordless phone, a wooden dresser older than me, three pairs of prescription glasses (we have learned, recently, to invest in flexible titanium), and two very fritzy leapsters later...

yeah. We're going through a very difficult kindergarten transition at the moment, that results in a lot of hitting and throwing of objects between 3 and 8 pm each night. I was considering buying an ipad, but after seeing one that was, literally, shattered I decided it could wait for now.


Hi Kristina and Charlie,

Might it help to tell the IPod to take a nap every twenty minutes or so to give Charlie time to process input that might otherwise overwhelm him? Just a thought!


I have been thinking alot about your statement that Charlie has a difficult time with "no." This post, like that one, is about the need to accommodate your actions and statements to Charlie's needs: his communication abilities, his slow time in getting used to changes, his responses when he doesn't get what he wants. You accommodate his needs and desires as much as humanly possible. It helps Charlie to be "peaceful-easy feeling," because he doesn't have to deal with not getting what he wants or with frustration.

You and Jim are both totally devoted parents, shaping your schedules and activities to Charlie's needs and desires, his moods and psychological states. He stays safe from self-injury and remains happy because of your tender, complete care. Your standard of giving is so far above what "normal" parents (like me) do that it often puts me to shame!

As the parent of a teen-aged "neurotypical," I can attest that a lot of Jake's upbringing consisted of getting him to teaching him to accommodate himself, his needs and desires to the expectations of the rest of the world. Our desires, his teacher's, those of store and restaurant and museum patrons and owners: all these desires and needs of adults took preference over his. Now, bosses' demands will take preference over his desires.

It seems to be the reverse of your approach. I wonder what would happen if we raised our child the way we are raising youyrs. At what point does thw switch-over in styles begin, and at what point does emphaiss on obdience and accomodation to others become a problem to the child?

Just pondering ... no conclusions yet. What do you think? You say that Charlie shouldn't hear "noes," because of his bad associations. "No Barney," "no Farm Families" means the loss of those items - often an enforced loss, because it really means "No item that you perseverate about." Parents of NT families know how furious and sorrowful hearing "No" can make a child, but they often believe that their reasons trump the child's: finances, school demands, standards of public courtesy, hygiene, health and diet, etc. Would it be better for us and the child if we stopped saying "no"?

Or, conversely, how do you see Charlie handling moments when he must hear "no" from you, teachers, or other parents? Do you believe that avoiding such situations (such as the Red Brownie Box Store) or giving him what he wants (exercise as demanded) is the best policy?

Jake says it's better for him that he was raised hearing and learning to accept "no," because he goes so many places where "no" is said. How do you prepare Charlie for that?


and durability is the reason Steve Jobs won't promote the iPad as a device for our kids. My kids have not thrown their devices but we have had a computer or two drop or fail due to negligence.

Kristina Chew

I think the HBO 'Rome' is quite good---not accurate on all fronts, but what can be! Most of our household items that have suffered the fate of your TV have been couches, mattresses (even with the plastic covers, incredible!).

Marble, mmm, I think we might have lost a few more things in that case---though our house is almost all hardwood floors. I must confess that Charlie has not always been the culprit when something gets dropped.

@Nicole and Sharon,
I'm actually kind of glad that Charlie IS a bit older now that the iPad has come out and seems to have a better understanding about things being dropped!

A very good idea---I have the iPad set to go dark after 2 minutes and as Charlie has not yet been able to turn it back on on his own, I guess that is a bit of a natural way to break things up.

I guess one thing I would say is that I hope that people will change to accommodate individuals who are different and understand that there are other ways of speaking and being. Charlie certainly understands there are limits and I get the sense that he indeed looks for them. It is the case that the limitations on what Charlie can do, on where he might go (not without someone with him), and so forth are much greater and more absolute even than for many, indeed certainly many more than in the case of Jake (who was very lovely to meet back in May; hope he is well).


Here's about that case I mentioned before:

Kristina Chew

It is great -- though wondering about what might happen if it were to, ah, fly? Especially with the speaker. -- I should say, Charlie has so fa not shown any signs of being inclined to do such.


I'll be very interested to see what Charlie & you think of that OtterBox. We watch Leo like hawks when he has his iPad. Red-tailed hawks. He seems to understand that the iPad is not to be beaten upon, but then he received his iPad in May - the beginning of his mellow temperament season. We'll see what happens as winter/unpredictable season nears.

We're still doing both digital and velcro-based visual schedules, btw. Because Leo knows the digital schedule can be modified, it doesn't have absolute authority, and he will sometimes argue with it. Which is pretty funny, really.

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