We Go With Him

Two Good Points Worthy of Note

 

Good thing I suggested to Jim to forego going to the gym Friday morning. He and Charlie had clocked in twelve miles on their bikes the night before and then, while not sleeping till about 4am on Thursday morning, a clearly tired Charlie was in manic-mode and took us on an evening five mile jaunt at a race-walk -- running -- pace. (The route is more than five miles and we did it in just around an hour.)

Also very good that I've been running daily for the past thirty years, from the time I was on the cross country team. After Friday's twelve mile bike ride and at the very end of another night time (the 'curious incident in the night time' business rings often in my thoughts) five miler at a nice pace, Charlie went full throttle sprinting up our street, right fit behind, somewhat. Perhaps my rather ruthlessly healthy diet (meatlessly Mediterraneanish and very heavy on the fresh produce though also heavy on the black coffee; vices are human, and important!) comes in handy, too, in keeping up with the times of our boy.

 

Vignette

On a Sunday morning walk (I lost count of how many we've done; there were 3 Saturday with the last at a powerfully fast pace, very fine as it is getting around the zero Celsius mark and of course several bike rides), Charlie and I were walking at a steady clip on the block that intersects with our street. A lycra-and-fleece-clad woman passed us at an energetic pace and said hello.

We kept walking and then Charlie paused to check for traffic, stamped his feet a bit on a crack in the pavement. Still paused, whereas he usually speeds right across the street to our house.

I went to stand by him. He turned his head and I saw a little smile.

Then he sprinted in full glory across the street and I followed (less gloriously but non-pantingly -- Charlie is a great trainer).

He knows when to hold 'em.

 

Exercise is Our Family Thing

 

My grandfather, my mother's father, was quite the athlete. He played tennis and rode his bike into, I think, his seventies (unfortunately, he got into a car accident in Golden Gate Park and that ended his bike riding days; he lived into his nineties). My mom has been occasionally riding an old yellow bike of Charlie's; she's got a kind of natural coordination some of which I've inherited and Charlie too.

So you're going to ask, why don't I get on the yellow bike at other times and ride!

I have been known to take a little spin around the block; it's definitely fun and takes me back to my grad student days when I rode a bike all over New Haven and its environs. At the moment, Jim and I continue to divvy up our energies: He does the bikes (over 23 miles on Friday including a Jersey horse country bike path ride) and I'm on the ground control (mileage from two race-walk pace jaunts -- Charlie doesn't stroll, he does a very accelerated walk-pace, enabling me to run at a decent pace up a hill, with four books and two coffee thermoses, at work to be on time for 8am Latin class).

 

How the Numbers Add Up

 

It's been 8 bike rides for a total of 60 miles since Friday for Jim and Charlie.

5 1/2 hours of me waiting in line for gas.

Counting Monday (the Big Autism Center announced on Sunday night that it's not ready to open due to accessing road conditions and fuel), 6 days out of school for Charlie.

25 miles of biking + walking on Sunday for Charlie, with me on all the walks, Jim on 2 and Jim (of course) on all the bike rides.

Fewer than 1 million New Jerseyans are without power tonight. Sounds good unless (of course) you're among the thousands (like some of our friends) who are still without.

0, the days we lost power, putting us in the category of ultra lucky dogs who could get slammed in the next storm-round but all's fair. I don't think we'd leave our house in that instance, though, as Charlie would rather shiver in known environs -- last time we were to stay overnight in a hotel, he almost ended up sleeping in the car as he wanted to get back to his own bed so badly. 

Over 2 weeks of me not seeing many of my students when we have Latin, Greek and Greek history class come this Friday. My school isn't open till Tuesday, Wednesday is to be the first day of class, and my classes meet on Tuesdays and Fridays. And, I ended up having to take a day away from teaching after midterms for a bit of an emergency consultation with Charlie's neurologist about his chronic insomnia, chronia constipation and other matters of a GI sort. I learned a lot, I made a run on the pharmacy and the health foods store for supplements and over-the-counter stomach-trouble solutions afterwards and, so far, Charlie seems to be sleeping on more of a routine and most nights, and he's been happier about the state of his stomach.

I really do think the past post-Sandy, schoolless week would not have been so peaceful without that consultation.

The test will be Monday (today), as Charlie and I will be dropping Jim off for an early train ride (not from our town's train station as that line is not yet up and running) and he won't be back from teaching till the afternoon. And Charlie's anxiety on Dadless days is well-documented.

After this past superstorm, and Charlie's own storminess, I'm feeling very halcyon about it all.

 

A Total of 28 Miles

Sleep or no sleep, Saturday was a 28 mile day.

1 mile walk after Charlie woke at 9am.

16 miles on the Jersey horse country bike trail.

5 miles when Charlie decided he wanted to do his old long walk which takes us through some characteristically gritty Jerseyitude: railroad trestles, big parking lots with garbage in and out of dumpsters, rude drivers. (of course, Jim and Charlie are used to those from bike riding.)

On the last mile, Charlie called for a local bike ride then got teary. We talked about taking a rest at home and he got tearier.

But he did lie down in bed and looked as if asleep, and then we heard him get up. So the local bike ride did happen, followed by a trip to the store which was out of the favorite crackers (Charlie was ok with it and Jim chose a different box) and bed and a little more weepiness.

I ran up the stairs and said to Charlie, all his feelings are good (mad, sad, glad) and thanked him for telling us the full range.

Because you know, we're all going to feel cruddy, mixed-up and bad at times and it's all all right, and Charlie needs to know that.

 

30 Mile Sunday

16 miles on the Jersey horse country (as in dressage and such) bike trail!.

Plus 3 walks (of about a mile each) with our long tall drink of Charlie (so to speak).

Yes, good thing we all enjoy exercise.

 

 

The Boy of Summer

On the first day of summer 2012, Charlie was up before 5am.

How else to fit in 3 walks and 2 bike rides for a total of 30 miles -- on the bike path in Jersey horse country and on his and Jim's original long local route taking them through five towns?

And in toasty 98 degree weather that is sticking around until the weekend.

We were able to persuade Charlie to take off his sweatshirt for the afternoon walk and the miles of bike riding but in the evening, understood his need for it even on the hottest day yet of the year.

Charlie ended his first day of vacation listening to certain songs on his iPad and pacing around with great intensity. Jim was reading on the big black couch in the living room and I was in the kitchen seemingly absorbed in scrubbing the stove -- but our attention, regardless of whatever is happening, goes first to him. After quite a bit of pounding walking and running, Charllie turned on a mellower Kinks song ('Taxman'), let go of the frenetic motion and announced he was going to bed, and did.

Praising Seemingly Nothing With Much Praise

At about a quarter to 9pm on Sunday night, Charlie asked for a bike ride. Fortunately, we are accumulating a good bit of bike equipment, from bike lights to a bike bag for Jim's bike for a juice and water to reflective neon vests.

But even with all that paraphernalia, it is not possible to ride at night through the woods as Charlie and Jim do on their long local ride. The woods are dark, in a total kind of way.

Therefore, Charlie was displeased, even though he and Jim have done a woodless night right before. He moaned the rest of the ride (order distorted, rue the day) and I could hear him from across the street when they returned.

We also figured that Charlie must be tired after a morning ride (with woods and sunshine) and a strong wind and sudden rain shower ride in Liberty State Park. He had actually snoozed in his big brown chair, head lolling to the side, for over two hours on Sunday afternoon (so I wrote this, reflecting on my educational experiences).

With Charlie in groaning mode, and feeling the air pressure change as rain is predicted all this next week, Jim and I upped the 'positive reinforcement,' offering deep praise for seemingly ordinary effort. But the seemingly ordinary -- standing around -- can be extraordinary so often for Charlie, seeking to use all his resources to hold it together and not fling himself at a wall, or send the contents of a table flying with a swipe of his arm.

After ten minutes, he said 'bedtime,' and there followed much hasty and rather manic running up and down the stairs, chortling, checking the refrigerator for his two lunchboxes, all to the backdrop of the six Disney songs Charlie keeps listening to of late.

By 11pm he was -- shocker these days -- sound asleep and ready to be woken in time to catch the bus on Monday morning in the rain.

Autism and McDonalds

Clearly exercise is a big part of life for Charlie aka "Mr. 24 Miles on a Friday" (he and Jim are readying to go on long local bike ride #2 in the photo above -- an evening ride, so they are suited up with neon vests and (not that can you see them) mini bike lights). Physical activity (daily, aerobic) has been key to help Charlie with the regulation (to the extent he can) of behavior storms and even played a role in helping his speech and focusing (if not his sleep, though after the 24 miles Friday, he didn't ask for a walk and went to sleep at a decent, before midnight hour).

A good diet, with as few processed foods as possible in the diet of a teenage American boy, is also important. I wrote about such, with some references to the worrisome (anxiety-provoking) question of life post-school for Charlie here at Care2.com in a post about Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution (apparently May 19 has been declared 'Food Revolution Day') (I got a bit on my high horse in the post, I confess).

Writing the post got me to thinking about McDonalds.

About how it is kind of unavoidable for most America kids to go there; I myself used to love a cheeseburger, which Jim thinks is laugh-off-the-couch hilarious because I've been a vegetarian since I was 13 and I used to go around in circles explaining to his mother what I would not eat,

About how, while Charlie was on the gluten-free casein-free diet (which he still kind of is as we have found dairy in particular to be really bad for him, plus he is such a creature of habit that he just doesn't eat lot of gluten-y foods because they were off limits when he was little), McDonalds' bun-less burgers and fries were a readily available treat.

About how it's not so easy to find things he likes, let alone things to treat him with.

About how parents with kids like him just want to indulge a kid with so many challenges because the world is just so very challenging and pleasures often few and restricted. Charlie certainly likes eating so getting him things he likes to eat has long been a way to, yes, treat him, though he has often become highly obsessive about his favored foods.

About how McDonalds, ever so reliable and offering the same menu at every one of the dozens of locations across the US we've patroned over the years, has sometimes seemed just made for Charlie's obsessive need for order. And et me tell you, as a parent, who hasn't felt a massive sense of undying gratitude on seeing those familiar golden arches after a wretchedly long time in the car with a woebegone child?

About how often, as a parent, I've wished there weren't so d****d many McDonalds everywhere and they wanted to recognizable with those d****d golden arches.

Since he was able to talk (a little), saying 'I yeh uh-uh' for 'I want fries' when he was 4 years old, McDonalds has been something Charlie, with his limited repertoire of words, could ask for and, hence, we had to take him there when he did ask.

But lately, Charlie really has not been asking as much to go. He always eats more once home after eating McDonalds; sometimes he has asked for the McDonalds and barely eaten any, as he if were only asking to go for the sake of asking to go, but the food wasn't what he wanted. Leading us to think, Charlie is discovering fast food isn't fulfilling, or filling, and he can forego it. He might even be figuring out that he doesn't feel so good after eating a McDonalds meal.

Which is all pretty revolutionary. I think.

 

The 30-Something Day

 

A first on Saturday: Jim and Charlie did all 16 miles of the Jersey horse country bike path. They are at the start in the photo above.

Then, after an excruciating wait for the green blanket on his bed to be washed and dried, Charlie called for a long ride at home, so they ended up biking about 30 miles.

He had woken around 6am and waited till I roused myself for a walk that was actually a walk, without any mad dash running.

Usually Charlie requests a second 'nightcap' walk to finish off the day, but those 30-something miles must have been sufficient because Saturday night -- both surprisingly and not so surprisingly -- he did not.