Bridges in the Blood (#530)
Something Gifty This Way Comes (#532)

Grass in the Wind (#531)

The grass must bend, when the wind blows across it.

I have been thinking about this phrase from Confucius' Analects (XII.19) all weekend, in part because Charlie has been sick these past two days---the sum of his activity today was transferring himself from the bed to the couch, pushing his feet on my while we watched Noggin music videos, not eating anything until I brought home some watermelon in the evening, and watching some ESPN while curled up in a blanket with Jim.

Charlie was scheduled to have a piano lesson at 2pm and, since his fever had gone away, Jim and I kept debating "should he or shouldn't he"? Seeing that Charlie was still under the blanket and on the couch, I called to leave a "we have to cancel" voice mail, after which Charlie briefly popped up when Jim brought in some Chinese take-out food for his parents and the nurse----and then went back to the couch. (Refusing white rice---a sure sign of sickness in Charlie.) Then Charlie's piano teacher called, all apologies, to say he had double-booked and could we reschedule.

All signs in the universe seemed indeed to be saying, Go with where he is. So Charlie spent the day on the couch and with various fleece blankets and, occasionally, some music while Jim finished an article which ended with some paragraphs on the October 27th autism and advocacy conference, "a daylong event that represented perhaps the first attempt to mobilize spiritual resources in advocacy for and by persons on the autism spectrum." Amid writing review sheets for my Latin and Greek classes and alternating reading a book on Roman law in preparation for a course next semester and Mark Haddon's A Spot of Bother, I thought from time to time about why, last Thursday, Charlie, and I, had come through a rough moment in the supermarket (child hitting his head on the floor over cake and sushi) with relative calm.

I thought about how, instead of bracing my body against his twisting back and fighting with every last ounce of strength I don't have to keep him still and keep his head from the floor, I had tried to shape myself along with the flow of his energy----to lean back in, or with, or together with his body, livid and practically sparking with desperation. It certainly took less out of me than attempts in previous years to hand onto a thrashing boy and I am sure I used to hold on so hard because of my own most despairing fear: What will I do when he gets big? When he is bigger than me?

On Thursday, Charlie calmed down enough to be directed to stand up and to carry the shopping basket through the store. I found myself not particularly enervated or upset.

The grass must bend, when the wind blows across it.

Or, the art of learning about letting go.

These past two summers, I have been slowly learning how to swim in the ocean waves thanks to watching Charlie. I have too often made the mistake of standing up to a wave---to a greater power---and as proof of my folly, how hard do I get smashed down on the sand and shells. Charlie swims right in the waves and I mean in: When one comes behind him, he maybe cocks his head a bit and adjusts his body so he goes under the wave (under the water), or so he fits right into the wave.

He makes himself go from being the grass into the wind moving over.

Riding the Bike, Swimming Like a Fish: Charlie, Athletic, Autistic

Comments

kcsmommy

Charlie and the ocean are one! He looks so comfortable in the ocean waves, he's such a swimmer boy! He's very athletic!
How does he like diving boards? I mean the really tall ones? I have always been terrified of them!

enna id

Thank you for the video. Something about the motion and even the sound in regard to the ocean and even the bike riding. One can almost feel it?. HOpe Charlie feels better. Sincerely, Enna id

Lisa/Jedi

I have found a great deal of inspiration in buddhist philosophy lately, very similar to the grass bending in the wind. Keeping my mind centred as much as possible on the present & leaving the future to unfold (within reason- I still make & keep the doctor appointments, etc :) has taken a lot of the frantic energy out of my life, & I am happier & saner for it!

I also enjoyed the movie :)

Lisa/Jedi

I have found a great deal of inspiration in buddhist philosophy lately, very similar to the grass bending in the wind. Keeping my mind centred as much as possible on the present & leaving the future to unfold (within reason- I still make & keep the doctor appointments, etc :) has taken a lot of the frantic energy out of my life, & I am happier & saner for it!

I also enjoyed the movie :)

Christine

We had a similar, very tough time at the grocery store last Sunday. I am experience enough now that I can at least think about my actions in the midst of it all and I think that has helped make it easier on both of us. The quote you cited has a lot of meaning for me. I wonder if I will remember it the next time I need to!

laurentius-rex

grass bending in the wind ??????????!!!!!!!!!

A blade of grass can split a rock because it only does what it has to.

I dare say that is in Confucius somewhere or if it isn't it ought to be.

laurentius-rex

And if you want proof of my previous assertion look no further

http://www.authorsden.com/visit/viewpoetry.asp?AuthorID=23328&id=168235

Yes take it literally for it is so.

MommyGuilt

What a wonderful philosophy. It makes so much sense. Go with it, bend with it. Wonderful video. We all watched it and watched it again.

Kristina Chew

Grass splitting a rock: I am reminded of "the force that through the green fuse drives the flower."

Just focusing on the moment and trying to live it really, and thoroughly---a small thought that has helped me so much.

Charlie has yet to try a high diving board---he fears to go up to the top of the ladder, and I think I can wait till he is ready!

Motion always helps Charlie----he is better, coughing some. A student asked me why I did not bring him to my class and give him a DVD player to watch, something to color, and I said that Charlie just does not sit still very well: Motion boy.

kyra

i love this, kristina. so beautiful. i've been moving closer and closer to this sort of philosophy/outlook, having taken the next level of reiki training this weekend. energy IS real. it's not hooey-fooey. it's very real. we can see it everywhere, what happens when it's tense and blocked, what happens when it is allowed to bend the grass, what happens when it allows itself to be bent.

kyra

i just watched the video. i love the sound of the ocean pulsing, the waves coming in over and over as i see charlie so alive and relaxed and at home in the water and on his bike. very peaceful. thank you for that.

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