The Eternal Autismland Conundrum

 

It is the eternal conundrum. The same day your child has a mammoth, sweaty evening behavior storm was the day he biked the most ever in one week (172 miles), said some nice longer phrases in response to his dad's questions about 'where are we going,' pedaled two miles in a downpour while he and Jim were on the bike path, told us in the middle of a car ride that he needed 'bathroom.'

Some separate the 'bad' from the 'good' things their child does, as if to say the former are 'not the child but the autism.' We've become rather inclined to say that what Charlie does, is what Charlie does. The real Charlie is a messy and complex mix, accomplishing lovely feats and then all wound up in storming.

Perhaps the effort to do all those great things -- plus yestrday's anxiety of waiting for dad -- causes Charlie immense stress and it gets bottled up, to emerge in a great whoosh, for all our careful efforts to explain with social stories and calendars and pictures?

It's a conundrum that we'll keep working at, together with our boy.

Comments

[Linda]

Add hormones as well! Boys Charlie's age can be similarly a conundrum. One minute stomping off in a huff the next showing huge strides in maturity. Charlie is making huge strides albeit no pain, no gain.

[Ashmire]

Absolutely the effort of accomplishment leads to stress and exhaustion! One thing I have learned in my life is that a very productive day is *always* followed by a very *un*productive day at best. Sometimes I try to pace myself and spread it out, others I figure it's better to get the big thing done and deal with feeling horrible afterwards.

[Club 166]

Speaking of storms, hope you and yours are all buttoned up for Irene.

Joe

[mamacate]

Progress is never easy, or simple. That's as true for me as it is for my kid. The challenge is to appreciate the growth while accepting the challenges. I know no family better at both than you three. XO.

[Kristina Chew]

@Joe,

Irene wasn't so bad for us -- we have been very lucky.

@mamacate,

Always glad to know you're all out there, goes without saying.

[Estee]

We are all out here, Kristina. xo