Rearranging the Space

Charlie got himself up for the bus, only to fall asleep soon after getting to school. He asked for a bike ride, -1 degree Celsius weather and all. He didn't ask for a burrito. We did get him burgers at our local McDonalds, scene of an end-of-last-year difficult moment; Charlie only ate the actual burgers, leaving buns, paper wrappers, ketchup and fries in the bag he handed me.

Jim had made plans a few weeks ago to visit the Catholic Worker in Lower Manhattan Friday night. As we drove to the hospital on Thursday, he was making plans not to go. Charlie was quiet in the backseat and I said to Jim, he should still go, though leave open the flexible option of not doing so 'just in case.'

Friday night, we dropped Jim off at the train and Charlie, once home, went to eat some watermelon, then went up to his room, then back down for a walk. It was a quite frosty one, though in the still and the dark, the full moon now gone.

I gave him some Advil when we came back. I kept my language so minimal I didn't say more than ten words the whole evening, just communicated via gesture, handing Charlie this or that. He to bed and lay down on his stomach. He likes to sleep on his back (and has, since a baby) but that might not be so comfortable until the staples come out, the Monday after next. I pulled the sheets around him and went downstairs.

The first floor of our house has been transformed. After Charlie was asleep Thursday night, Jim and I started thinking of how to help Charlie through the latest OCD rut he has been in. My desk has been rather in the middle of the room as, after we moved back into our house, there was no other place for it. But the futon we used to have by the window is gone and Jim thought we could move my desk there and then the living and dining room would be one big wide open space.

I moved my desk right after Charlie was on the bus and, as you know happens when you move furniture, you start to move all sorts of things. Piles of books, files, another chair. I'm quite pleased by the new arrangement: I'm now right by a window and have much more natural light, plus I rather like being in a corner space.

Jim and I also talked about getting a nice big cushy chair for Charlie to use upstairs. He is not inclined to sit at a desk but I could see him plunking down in a chair by the windows that look out on our street, iPad in his lap.

Before 9.30pm, Charlie was asleep, on his side. Past midnight, he was coughing and stirring a bit: Needless to say, it's been a lot to process this week.

 

Comments

[Life Skills Teacher]

I rearrange my classroom several times a year (always keeping some key pieces -but not the same ones- constant) precisely because of the level of OCD displayed in my room. I find it helps us all stay out of uncomfortable patterns --students and teachers alike.

[Monica]

For the past couple of years, my brother Stephen, who lives in a small group home in Minnesota, has had a "special chair" (a brown naugahyde La-Z-Boy) that my family bought him. It faces out the window in the residence common room. He goes and sits in it, clasps his hands behind his head, stretches out his legs, and meditates out the window for several minutes, several times a day. It is a comfortable space that is solely his, yet not separated from others. Interestingly, none of the other 8 or so residents ever ask or try to sit in his chair, nor does he "perseverate" in sitting in it (he will happily get up from the chair when asked to do so). It provides him with a self-monitored break from the stresses of the day. Of course, he's become the "La-Z-Boy" age, way older than Charlie (late 50's), and the storms of adolescence should be behind him (oh, how stormy those times are! I greatly admire how you're handing them) , but those "behaviors" are always something to contend with, even at Stephen's age. But I think the La-Z-Boy has been a great thing for Stephen.

[Kristina Chew]

looking into the La-Z-Boy and contemplating future furniture moves....