At Vigil
The OCD Merry-Go-Round

With a nod to my seventh grade self

Charlie was up till 4am on Friday, slept perhaps till just before 10am and then it was a day of constant exercise -- 23 or so miles on bikes and almost 4 afoot on three walks -- and then, around 6.30pm, two hours of "McDonald's or Death" sort of demands that got very intense as they had on Tuesday night but without its messy issue, gulping down a bowl of plain white rice that was originally refused, more though milder demands expressed in the repeated use of the word 'hi' after Charlie got another idée fixe for brownies, typing on his iPad, giggling when I cut his fingernails and (as he requested) his toenails, sleep before 10pm after a late large snack.

The changes in mood and the hyper-activity -- manic, as before noted and noticed in Charlie and not entirely unpredicted due to family medical histories (suggesting that these and the insomnia behaviors are iatrogenic): Yes, sometimes it does seem that Charlie's fortune has been to inherit everything, from autism spectrumness to aspects of various psychiatric diagnoses, from our collective families!

About the insomnia -- this has seemed very much night self-willed, as if Charlie (due to extreme anxiety) is making myself stay awake because he doesn't want too miss anything, like parents going places or some such.

I got interested in learning about psychology in junior high school and followed that up with some study of psychoanalysis and the reading of rather a lot of Freud in graduate school. In point of fact, I wanted to be a psychiatrist when I was in the seventh grade. These days and with this boy, that would have been a quite the profession to be in.

Though who knows if I would have studied Greek then. Things being as they are, I hear 'iatrogenic' and think, ἰατρὸς is 'physician,' Hippocrates and then want to go look up his treatise on the sacred disease (epilepsy).



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